Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
