thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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