i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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