Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize