You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
