D3 body, D1 cock
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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