Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
