I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
