Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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