How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
