I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
