Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
