she woke up with a sticky ear
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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