i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
