I'm jealous of your bromance
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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