yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
