From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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