I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
