Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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