if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
