Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
