I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
