we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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