What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am spending my child support on dildos
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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