wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
