Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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