We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
