I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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