So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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