5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
