It's just like the Real World with babies
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
