I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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