i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
