If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
