Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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