My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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