arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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