i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
