Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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