you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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