I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
