I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
