I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
