I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
