You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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