I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
