the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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