need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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