McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize