worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
