I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
