if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize