so explain again why im purple
no
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
