We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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