My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
