evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
