I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize